Moronic Behavior Will NOT Be Tolerated

You're just a self-righteous, moronic individual and I don't understand why I am even affiliated with you. I can hold a grudge and just watch me I will. Don't worry I'll treat you just as you treated me- with every bit of care you gave me tonight- oh wait what care?

You call me disrespectful yet I went out of my way yest and actually got things done.
You compare yourself to the parents' of a dear bestfriend of mine and state that they'd never go out of their way to drive around.. This morning that same friend's dad drove me to school and this has been at least the 10th time that he's done this for me just this school year.
You call yourself some sort of limo service however you're driving a Honda Accord sit the hell down.
You can't even drive - thank you for crossing over an illegal barrier on a main road twice.
You complained about driving two friends home although I NEVER asked you. I asked someone else who had given me consent.
You didn't even pick us up from the correct place.
You're just ridiculous.

I don't see how someone could only care about themselves and be so blatantly oblivious as you are.

THANK YOU FOR RUINING WHAT COULD'VE BEEN A GREAT NIGHT FOR ME.

^ yes this is the sickest sarcasm.

As if I don't have enough things to stress about you made my life that much worse.

But nono keep yelling and complaining and doing all the things that your crappy personality entails. I'm sure this will help your charming iridescence ensue (more sick sarcasm).

I'd like to finish all my college apps and to get everything in so I could go a solid day without worrying but I doubt that's going to happen. :/ Just this week a 15yr old girl, a sophomore from my high school, jumped in front of a train and passed away due to this action. This was her alternative to escaping bullying and other troubles in her life. Although I never knew this girl I feel for her and I hope she is in a better place rn. Her situation made me feel completely empty. Every day people complain about things that they can either control, fix, or just aren't worth complaining about and SO many entities are taken advantage of.

I can honestly say I am grateful for my momma & certain friends of mine. I do not know what I would do without them.

So today, Oct 26th 2012, I had a half-day of school due to parent-teacher conferences. I went over my bestfriend Lucia's house and we then got Country Donuts [which is downright delicious]. We then watched a movie- Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. Then we went for an hour bike ride to rid ourselves of the fatness we consumed earlier. Afterwards she introduced me to a veddy interesting tv show- "Revolution." We watched an episode and a half before preparing ourselves for a Halloween party. After transforming myself into a cowgirl and she turned into a masquerade-fairy-with various weapons we proceeded to walk to the train, take the train to Huguenot (passed the memorial of the girl mentioned above^), and then walked to our friend's house.

The party consisted of beer (which I am not a fan of since I find it bitter), trackies (which are some of the greatest people I know), random institute kids (that are all amazing as well), Pinnacle, and just a good time. There were no fights. No one had gotten so ridiculously out of control. Everyone seemed to love each other and just enjoy each other's company and everyone was happy. I felt like I had no worries and no stress for once {too good to be true I should know this}. A couple of the people at the party were getting high and I didn't take advantage of this opportunity and some kid even had some things with him that he was selling. I now regret not embracing this convenience.

But the main jist of this comes after this when my friends were no longer in my presence and turmoil, absurdity, and ignorance transpired. I have no will-power to go over the event because I have already broken down, cried, and just battled between anger and complete sorrow about it and do not want to even deal with this outrageousness. It's not even worth it.

All I know is I am not acknowledging anyone's existence that is detrimental to my own. #sorrynotsorry

Casola Farm

So of course, as usual, I have a lot on my mind. It's currently 12:31am here and I could be a) sleeping b) reading this book I like aka Perks of Being a Wallflower b4 it comes out in theatres or c) watching a movie or d) sleeping. Oh well, in another life I believe I was most likely an owl so that's my reasoning for never sleeping at this hour :X

Tonight was interesting. My momma, her friend (Tota Nada) , and I went to Casola Farm in Marlboro, New Jersey. It's this place where for October//Halloween time they have a 'Hayride of Terror', 'Haunted Wooded Trail', 'Haunted Barn', and 'Livin Maze'. This was my 2nd time going, my 1st time was 2yrs ago. If you like Fright Fest and/or Blood Manor / places where they pay people to purposely scare you, you'll definitely like this place! When I arrived I saw all these couples and I cannot stand the fact that I'm actually jealous of every single one of them. Just the fact that they look so happy with each other jakshdiuiwe. Anyways, I never like the barn, even when you see the scary people and even if you tell them you see them they still come over to you and they're always popping out of places trying to scare you. During the maze the scariest part wasn't the actors but some random 13yr old that jumped out of some bushes and yelled at us.

My favorite part of tonight however was the hayride. :3 There was this hot guy and he sat next to me. So on one side I had momma's arm wrapped into mine and in another I had mystery hot boy = pretty decent combination. When I sat down the girl across from me told me if I get scared I could hold onto him and I was very quick to say "no i won't!" At the same time we all told each other that we had each other's backs. As the hayride proceeded, by the time we were frightened with, Freddy, Jason, scary clowns, random zombies, and the girl from the Ring had jumped onto the ride, got in all of our faces, and yelled intolerable things he sat a whole lot closer. I had my left leg up on the hay barrel kinda on him and he was keeping it so warm, it was lovely. I told him not to mind my leg because he was keeping it nice and warm and he didn't mind one bit. We talked throughout the ride and when a scary character was approaching (one touched my hair oh.my.god. that was the scariest moment for me!!!) he would elbow my elbow with his, as subtle as this is idk I just appreciated it. Maybe if my momma wasn't sitting so close and stuff I'd have jumped/held onto him. I honestly wasn't even that scared but I would've done it just because well hey ya know hot guy on hayride and I'm single who wouldn't take that opportunity !? He had a Mets cap, these tan skinny jeans, and a hoodie, and he had this swoopy cute hair I mean cmon. At one point he was just like look at these stars they're so nice & they truly were. All these couples on the ride were holding each other and it truly twas precious. Now that I think of it I could've asked him all this stuff but whatever. Anyways I doubt he'd be interested. I have no name, no digits, and I doubt I'd ever again see him. Not like he asked for either of those things from me anyways so ah well.


Each season I find more and more reasons why I'd like to be in a relationship and want to call someone else mine as they do the same to me. I find more and more things we would be able to do/share/make.

In this one summer reading book I read this year I liked this paragraph:

"It was a confusing proposition to want a girl you'd already had and couldn't get because you had; a situation common in his life, of having first and then wanting what he had had, as if he hadn't had it but just heard about it, and it had, in the hearing, aroused his appetite. He even wished he had not had her that night, and wondered-say he hadn't-whether he would be in the least interested in her today."

Gosh that's my life right there. ^^^ 

I think what if I'd never gotten myself into a relationship? I'd have been completely oblivious to all these feelings and would've felt a different bit of loneliness. But the fact that I enjoyed a relationship as much as I had makes me strike through all these thoughts.

As I sit here, alone, comforted by a laptop light and a keyboard as well as my dear cat Lily, as much as I appreciate all that I do have, I can't help wanting more.

No one has bothered to talk to me as they've used to. No one has drawn my attention. I'm just bored.


 Not that I'm advertising or anything(;
http://www.triplecnurseries.com/haunted/main.html