Basically I had a magnificent Friday and Saturday night with him. ((May 11-12)) We walked. We talked. We held hands. We kissed. Back to the good old times. I wouldn't have changed a single thing about those nights. There are some things he said that did bother me but out of anyone he could get away with them.
On Monday ((May 14th)) I received information that he sent Brittany all this dirty/kinky stuff. I saw the texts with my very own eyes. It was just ridiculous. It made me feel so stupid. I just couldn't believe it. I was glad I saw it that way I couldn't come off as anymore of an idiot but still something like that kills. I was falling for him and he was going around talking to another girl like that. I could only imagine how many other girls he talks to. I just couldn't believe how stupid I was being. At first I was in disbelief then I was just upset. I couldn't help but feel jealous. I know that I have no right to just control who or how he speaks to anyone else. We aren't/weren't going out. He's allowed to do whatever he'd like. It's just, Saturday night I told him I loved him. I meant every word of it. The texts he sent were sent on Sunday & we were still talking. We weren't on the best of terms and the conversation wasn't the greatest but still. It wasn't at the same particular time but still !! It just wasn't right. He chucked freakin hearts at me and all this stuff. Don't lead me on like that. I would fall for it all though. This is how our conversation ended on Sunday night.
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| 1st |
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| 2nd I was just saying what I thought. |
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| 3rd It just bothered me what how he was belittling me. |
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| 5th At least I tried. |
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| 4th |
Honestly he's a big baby. He freakin "whatever" and "k"'s me. Like that solves anything!??! Then May 15th which is the next day I didn't speak or see him or anything. I come home exhausted even though I didn't have track and just went straight to my parents' bedroom to nap things off. All of this going on just ruined my days. I know being happy and everything being so perfect was too good to be true but just sahfawlehgerilnbk. I was just so hopeful about everything. I felt like we just were so close and invincible. Maybe he is, but I for sure am not. I awoke at around 10:30 to an "I'm sorry" text he sent at 8:04. Brittany told him that she showed me all the texts. I had wanted to bring all this up to him but I just couldn't. I already knew this was ruining whatever relationship we were developing but I just didn't want to cause more problems. This is what ensued:
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| 1 |
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| 4 |
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| 3 I bet he only think he's dumb because he got caught in the act. |
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| 6 |
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5 See how quick he was to just 'leave me alone'
I should've gotten the hint then and there
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| 8 |
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| 7 |
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| 9 He told Brittany the same exact thing about making up I didn't wanna tell him i loved him especially since at that moment that was definitely not how i felt about him; i felt too bad not to say it though |
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| 9 why the heck was he upset? all that happened to him was he got caught -__- |
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| 11 |
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| 10 He makes himself out to be such a victim |
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| 13 freakin baby 'k'd me. |
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| 12 it's cool when he does care though |
It ended there. By then I was bawling my eyes out and ended up crying myself to sleep that night. I didn't know who to believe. He was done with this "drama." So sorry for the inconvenience. This is all what Brittany had been sending me:
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| This is what Brittany sent him before he told me "I'm sorry" |
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| doesn't he sound like the biggest jerk-off? |
Seeing all of this hurt me. It actually did. I can honestly say I was really falling for him and he made me so happy. Reconnecting with him as much as we did was one of the greatest things I've experienced in a longlong time. I was looking forward to seeing/talking to him. But after something like this I wanted to push myself oceans away from him. I was just done. I felt so stupid for not listening to my friends. They all told me not to get back into this. I could care less because I was happy. One of my close friends told me I should be playing the game back at him. I wouldn't do that to him though. I wasn't gonna be all manipulative. I wasn't going to go around behind his back. When I was talking to him that's exactly what I was doing. That's all I wanted to do. I made myself to be such an oblivious idiot. The worst part is that that's something I AM NOT.
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