2nd day of Single Flow

So today was the big day that I would meet him after track at the train station to get my ipod back. I really wouldn't ask for it back, I know how passionate he is about music and now he has to suffer in the silence. :/ Also he has been using it as a stopwatch and now he cant exactly do that anymore. This is what happened. During track I had been getting really nervous, anxious, and scared to see him again. I was kind of dreading seeing him. The first thing I said was hi. He didn't say anything to me. He handed me the ipod and thanked him for it. I wondered if he would say anything. He looked at me like I was a freakin cabbage like I was nobody to him, and that when I realized why should I care about someone like that? He could've said anything, instead he says, "I don't have anything left to say to you I gave you 3 or 4 chances to change." He could've said anything but instead he was blaming me again by saying I had all the chances and you know what I'm just done with it. I don't need to be blamed all the time and I definitely don't want to be put down any longer. I was like so I guess we will just go our separate ways and he said yea. And that was it, I said bye as I walked away. I decided to walk home from the train station, which the train station is walkable from my house but its as if I'm walking to Guam. I didn't mind though, I needed it to clear my head. As I walked home I deleted each and every picture of him and any picture that reminded me of him and I also deleted him as a contact in my phone. Btw this is after a cruise day at track, I was dead but I needed the walk. Lemme just tell you I feel free & it feels wonderful.

One of my close trackies told me this:

-"LOL, the fact that he thinks your the one that has to change just shows how stupid he is. All guys are exactly the same Estee, evan was the exact same way; he thought he was right and tried to make me feel like I was wrong in everything. Don't even worry about it, your right ! :) & good I'm so proud; you could do so much better anyways & you will :)"
-"Exactly, it's not worth it; after everything, they focus on the bad parts & not the good; so they don't deserve us, Josh does NOT deserve you & good! Have fun at your party, if you need absolutely anything I'm here; I understand exactly what your going through so I'm sure I can help if its needed :)"

Afterwards, to clear my head some more, as soon as I got home I took a quick shower and got ready for Nick's surprise birthday party. It was his sweet 16 & my bestfriend Kaitlyn gave me candy yesterday from her party so I decided to give them to him. It's better than me eating Swedish fish and pixie sticks that's for sure. The party was actually alright until he texted me. Then I started to feel bothered a bit. I just I thought we were over, I don't understand what else he wants from me? The thing is I deleted him from my phone, thank god I had texts saved from him or else I wouldn't even know who was texting me. :X I figured he was so done with me since he deleted my facebook that he deleted me off of his phone too. I guess not. I so completely obnoxious to him and I actually enjoyed acting this way. I felt like he was being so spiteful & I actually kind of wanted to play that game back, but knowing me I wouldn't do that. And I didn't. Later, I realized he put up a status and I believe it is about me. "Lol. I don't know why but I kind of miss you." One of my friends said he would come rushing back to me and I didn't have any faith in that at all. I guess maybe since he actually saw me today maybe that changed his opinions maybe a bit but I don't even know. All I know is we are over, I miss him, I kind of miss us, and I am letting go. Oh, and the fact that I am free.